The Breakfast Club

     I have taken a once a week class on Saturday mornings at 8 A.M. almost every semester since I started at UVU.  Saturday classes are pretty long since you only have them once a week, usually 3 hours or so.  I've also noticed they also draw a certain type of student.  Not to say you can’t find them in every other class, but they are in every class I take on Saturday morning without fail.  I'd like to share some of my findings:

First I give you my favorite;

The Hungry, Hungry Hobo also known as the pack rat. 

This is almost exclusively a female between 21 and 34.  This lovely specimen can be easily identified if you look for a few common traits. 

     The first trait is apparel; Sweats, pajama pants, or maybe a long t-shirt with a ratty blanket, basically sleepwear.  They take Saturday morning classes to “better themselves” but they damn sure aren’t getting up too early.  They come to class looking like they just rolled out of bed, or more accurately off the couch, backseat, or out from under a pile of clothes. 

     They are also in always in possession of a random sack of goodies that can contain any number of the following; Rice Krispie squares, Trail Mix, individual wrapped mini-chocolate bars or snack cakes.  Some might choose raw nuts, cold cereal, raisins, bananas, yogurt or lunchables.  Beverages range from; Capri-sun, juice boxes, soda, coffee, or fountain drinks.  Sometimes they will through you a curve ball by bringing Mcdonalds, Starbucks or some gas station breakfast implying they were able to drag themselves out bed early enough to make a purchase or two,  but not quite early enough to change out of their jam jams.

     While I appreciate the need for breakfast most of the time it just looks like they grabbed some random things on the way out,  an apple and yogurt from the fridge, a ziplock bag full of peanuts, and a handful of little Billy’s Halloween candy. 

     When I look at these people I wonder just what the hell is going on in their heads, but part of me is jealous, how do they do it?  I don’t take great pride it how I dress or snack but the day you see me wearing a dirty bathrobe eating Capt’n Crunch out of a Ziplock bag in public, just kill me.