“The Day’s Half Gone” Guy
This is the polar opposite of “The Hungry, Hungry Hobo”, this ambitious
go-getter is decked out in his gym outfit, under armor shirt, pants and shiny
asics track shoes. Usually accompanied
with a blender bottle full of some mysterious concoction, most likely his
health beverage full of a variety of super foods, supplements and essential
vitamins. It’s unknown whether he has
been to the gym or is well prepared for his post class workout, the only thing
everyone knows is this cat is concerned with his health and by semesters end he
will be straight up swoll.
Occasionally you’ll find a couple
that fits this description. I guess it
really is a small world, these two people with so much in common found each
other. They both not only love exercise,
weird smoothies, and tight spandex, they both relish in the idea of everyone knowing
it. Not to mention they both are
ambitious enough to return to school for a degree that requires knowledge of
art history. I should also address the
fact these “fit” couples are always returning to school, there are plenty of
college age couples attending the same classes but those freaks will be discussed
later.
If you are going to the gym after
class and are just trying to save some time I can understand, somewhat. I mean there are gyms all over the place, and
they all have lockers and changing rooms but what are you made of time? You already had to get up early enough to
gel-up the hair, find matching tights, and make your alfalfa, chia seed and acai
berry smoothie.
Conversely maybe you already got your
workout in before class, In this case you’re
blessing the entire Saturday morning class with your swampy, stench of narcissism
and sweat. Nothing like spending 2 +
hours next to someone who smells like a roided up Hulk Hogan after having a steamy, vomit educing sexual encounter with Octo-mom and then
rewarding himself with a garlic infused dandy lion green, stinging nettle shake
with a shot of wheat grass and wood ear mushroom root for a libido boost.
I just want to go to class, learn
about the naked Greek woman with perky naturals and no arms without having to
wonder just what kinda sick, twisted life you live.
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