Ninja Turtles

By now everyone knows that they are making a new live action Ninja Turtles movie or at least anyone who cares.  
 I grew up in a not to distant past when the Ninja Turtles were a very big deal.  All the kids loved the cartoons, toys and don’t even get me started on the arcade games, to this day as an adult who could buy an arcade game I occasionally check online.  The marketing team must have been on PCP because they were everywhere from Pizza Hut freebies to junk food, that’s right ask anyone in their thirties if they remember turtle pies.

So you would think I’d be excited about the news of a re-boot.  Well you would be wrong. 

You would think “Hey Michael Bay is directing, that will be awesome right?” and you’d be wrong again.

You could say, “When something from your childhood is re-interpreted it will bring back good memories right?”   And strike three we can no longer talk.

First of all why reboot something, just come up with something new and original.  Or at least find something old you can make better.  Old TMNT was awesome, leave it alone old Captain Planet sucked, redo that thing.  There is nowhere to go but up, everyone hated that show whereas with they turtles I have nothing but great memories.

           

            *An interesting note, if you look up the movies from the early 90’s on Rotten Tomatoes they rank very low with critics and very high with the audience which means one thing; these movies are loved and entertaining and movie snobs don’t like them.*

Anyway number two Michael Bay directing, sure he’s a household name.

“Ohhh Michael Bay, this is gonna be good.”

No it ain’t, Michael Bay sucks.  He’s made 2 good movies; The Rock, and Transformers.

What has he done that’s bad?  Well lets think, all the shitty remakes I hate; Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday The 13^th, The Amityville Horror, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre not once but twice, and of course the 2 shitty sequels to the 1^st Transformers movie. 

He’s made a ton of other movies you don’t connect with and they are all shit.  Didn’t Megan Fox say negative thing about him resulting in her getting fired from Transformers?  Why the hell is she playing April O’neil, and why cause she’s pretty to look at?  You now what else is pretty easy on the eyes?  My childhood not covered in shit.  Which brings me to point number three.

Like I said before the turtles were a big deal when I was a kid, re-booting it and making a bad movie is like if John Lennon, Jim Morrison and Otis Redding came back to life and toured playing only Rebecca Black Covers.

I think between Michael Bay and Jayden Smith my entire childhood will be remade with a lot less substance, humor and style.  Those things will be replaced with product placement, stupidity and bad writing.