I’ve always thought people are fucking stupid when they say, “drive safe”. What the fuck does that imply? Drive safe, as apposed to what? The normal way I drive, wreck less as hell. Do you think I’m intentionally swerving all over the road, running red lights, and driving in the wrong lane? Maybe I could take a shortcut through a park, close my eyes, or maybe only use the emergency brake? Anyway you get the point, it’s just a meaningless courtesy that I hate.
Well today while driving home I noticed something along that same line, the little caution sign stuck on the window that says “baby on board”. Ok I get it, you’re proud of your achievement, you know not pulling out, not cumming on the tits, you must have the gift. You have succeeded where so many fail, after all birth control is a wicked mistress. What do you think this sign is really doing? Do you think if I’m passing you thinking about fucking taking you out and that sign is gonna make me have second thoughts? I waited in the parking lot at the Costco all morning waiting, followed you onto the freeway to run your shit off the road in a fiery mess, then I see the little sign letting me know you’ve reproduced and I’m suddenly “oh shit, these dudes are cool, hands at ten and two, maintain, keep cool, oh god precious goods in the vicinity, think safe.”
Look douche bag we are in Utah and chances are good that unless you are driving on a driver’s education coarse at least 85% of the drivers on the road have kids, maybe more.
I’m happy your proud but the only person who gives a second thought to those signs are bitter couples with reproductive problems, pedophiles, or foreigners who want to kidnap your ugly fucking chud and hold it for ransom. But you usually see these stickers on minivans and wagons so they all understand you don’t have a shit load of money. Just come to terms with the fact strangers on the road don't care if you have kids. Unless your last name is Kardashian they are not going to waste thier time with peanut allergies and bunco. Nope you are just subtlety trying to brag that your dick works and your wives snatch is capable of doing the old ping pong ball thing with a bowling ball.
I drive the way I drive; believe me I drive much better thinking about my own wellbeing over some dumb rug-rat I’ve never met.