Oral sex all up in your ears

Oration costume

I don’t think anyone would argue that public speaking is a talent.  It ranks just behind death on the “what people most fear list” every year.  I took a class on it and learned it’s all about preparation.  If you are prepared you will do well but some people are just better at it.  Whether they can just look natural or can improvise some answers they just are better.  In my class I shocked myself because I didn’t know how easy it was if you’re ready for it and I did much better than students much more outspoken than myself.

I’ll be the first to admit I come off as a bit shy, quiet and weird. (As overheard by others) 

I’d describe myself as private, reserved and observant.  I notice things nobody else does and I don’t speak unless spoken to for the most part.  I’m also entirely too analytic, cynical and pessimistic.  When you mix all those things with a healthy dose of empathy, and a touch of traumatic stress you get a very unique cocktail that is me.

Every single day I find myself in the same situation.

I will be involved in a conversation and either my mouth can’t keep up with my brain or vice versa.

I will be half way through one statement or thought but my brain is not only 3 sentences ahead it is pointing out mistakes coming out of my mouth, like some kind of psychotic proofreader.  I will admit I’m not the most socially gifted person.

However I will be an arrogant ass about something; I’m very quick witted and somewhat funny.  I have never met a person I can't make laugh.  The problem lies in the content, it tends to be dark.  My first impulse will come very quick but is usually very dark, and possibly over the line.  Usually funny as hell but only for a few of us.  For example how many of us have seen the movie Hannibal?  The sequel to The Silence of The Lambs.  That is a dark comedy with plenty of laughs.  Don't take my word for it, do some research.  You will find the movie where a guy is fed his own brain is a form of comedy. 

I’ve only recently discovered the release that is writing.  Well now I’m doing this as well as being over 20,000 words into two different possible books I’m writing.

In conclusion: 

If you wanna be a good public speaker: prepare, prepare and prepare

If you wanna vent about shit: open a new word doc and type away.  Cut and paste that shit into a blog and you feel better.  No body will ever read it but that's their loss right?